Throwing Out All The Trash And Drama!

2009 is around the corner, and I'm ready for the new year. I'm ready to throw out all the trash and drama in my life. So good-bye and so long to those who has betrayed my friendship, I'm over it. 2009 will be much better and I will chose my friendships wisely.

2008....
I've learned so much about myself and those around me. I've learned that friendships will end eventually and it saddens me, but I know that I must let go. For you can never trust someone specially after what they did. The lies!

Matt and I have gone through some rough times, but at the end we became stronger then ever. Those who even try to break us, can't!

We are blessed to have another cat, named Jinx and we are happy to have her apart of our life. We are happy and thankful to have Adiva another year, strong and healthy she is.

Matt plans on going back to school on the 5th on January, and we are both quitting the cancer stick on the same day, how exciting!

I am ready for the challenges I will face in 2009.

2009, here I come!

Welcome To The Family

Welcome To The Family!

Jinx, is a 5 year old black domestic medium hair cat. She has 26 toes and is a fun loving lap cat. I'm so happy to have her apart of our family. I'm excited to see what the future holds for us four.












She already loves her daddy too!

Update

So I don't want to jinx myself, but I think everything is going to be okay. I am thankful every single day that I have a loving boyfriend, who has stand by me for almost 3 years now. He is doing everything he can, to make sure we don't lose are home. We have plans, we have ideas and I honestly think they might work out this time around. I can't believe it's already December. The months are flying by. Soon the new year will come along and pass. I'm turning 24 in January and I can't believe it; young but getting older as the day passes. Matt turns 31 in March, and well be done with school at 33 if everything goes as plan. He already has his Bachelors but decided, that just isn't going to due, so back to school in a field which will hopefully fill his desires.
Everything is moving along slowly, still haven't found a full time job and we aren't bringing money into the household. I just have to stay strong and be thankful for the things I do have.

My Weather

My mood changes like Colorado's weather. Ask anyone whose been with me or my family and friends. If you are with me on a good day much like a sunny day enjoy your time with me for you never know what the next moment will be like. If you are with me and I'm unpleasant to be around, like a cold rainy day, wait 5min or until the next day comes for it will be different.

Leather and Lace

Leather and Lace
Written by Steive Nicks
Duet Recorder with Don Henely

Is love so fragile...
and the heart so hollow
Shatter with words...
impossible to follow
You're saying I'm fragile...I try not to be
I search only...for something I can't see

I have my own life...and I am stronger
Than you know
But I carry this feeling
When you walked into my house
That you won't be walking out the door
Still I carry this feeling
When you walked into my house
That you won't be walking out the door

Lovers forever...face to face
My city or mountains
Stay with me stay
I need you to love me
I need you today
Give to me your leather...
Take from me...my lace

You in the moonlight
With your sleepy eyes
Could you ever love a man like me
And you were right
When I walked into your house
I knew I'd never want to leave
Sometimes I'm a strong man
Sometimes cold and scared
And sometimes I cry
But that time I saw you
I knew with you to light my nights
Somehow I'd get by
First time I saw you
I knew with you to light my nights
Somehow I would get by

Lovers forever...face to face
My city or mountains
Stay with me stay
I need you to love me
I need you today
Give to me your leather
Take from me...my lace

Lovers forever...face to face
My city or mountains...stay with me stay
I need you to love me...I need you to stay
Give to me your leather
Take from me...my lace
Take from me...my lace
Take from me...my lace

(This song just makes me smile, it reminds me of the love Matt and I have together)

Times Ticking

We have enough money to cover rent this month. Come January 5th we will be evicted and have to move out. What to say, not much to say. The job hunt isn't going well, everything is falling a part. It is taking every energy I have not to hate those who put me in this situation. They have there jobs, they will have there Christmas. This December was suppose to be different for us, in our new apartment. We wanted to get a Christmas tree, stockings and all. This won't happen because they took it away from us by blowing everything out of portion. I don't understand what I did wrong. I don't understand why they lied to me. I don't understand how they can turn there backs on someone they called a "friend". I'm losing everything and fast....

Time

This month has been filled with death; death of those whom never had the chance to live, and those pets that were old, and those that just was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I cried earlier this morning..... I found out that my first cat I ever loved and owned passed away. Her name was Shiva. She would be 6yrs old. She lived a wonderful life though. She was full of joy and happiness. She was a wonderful kitty and made me smile and laugh. I loved her dearly. I must admit I haven't thought much about her as the days went. Yes, she would pop in my head and I would smile and hope she was doing well.
Frankly, I've tried to put the pass behind me for it brought back bad memories, mistakes that I made. People I hurt and lied too and I feel ashamed for doing those things. Of course, there where good moments; moments and times that made me who I am today. I've learned from my mistakes and do not plan on doing them again.
I can only move forward and make the best of things and do my best to live a clean, honest life.
Shiva was attacked by a coyote and that was the end of it. I only wish I was able to take her with me, but at the time I couldn't provide her with a home. I could barely provide a home for myself and take care of myself.
May she rest in peace, along with the rest of the souls that where lost this month.

The Fat Leg

Since I lost my employment, I've been spending a decent time on the computer looking for a job and playing Perfect World International. Which has caused me to gain weight.
I went to lunch with a friend on Monday and I wanted to wear my knee high boots, which I haven't worn since I lost my job.
Well.... apparently my left calf is bigger then my right. This must of happened in the last month. At first I we thought it was because I pulled a muscle but it didn't hurt and after a few days it is still bigger. I do not drive either. So we came to decide that one leg is just fatter then the other, because I must some how favor my right leg or the left.
We have come up with numerous ideas to even out the legs; carry my purse on my left shoulder, do leg exercises, some other interesting ones that I can't think of at this time.
It is frustrating because now I'm noticing other parts of my body that is getting fatter due to lack of exercising.
So while unemployed and looking for a job I now going to start to exercise so I don't become a fat beast.

Written July 5th 2006

This is the first poem we wrote together.

As Spring Creeps Into The Hills (07/05/2006)

Familiar Ghost
Meld
In Languid Shadow
Stolen Smiles
Lost Love
And The Phantom
Of The American Dream
White Picket Fence
White Croses
Marking The Graves
Of The Sensitive

The Shadowy Night
Creeps Upon Us All
The True Chosen Ones Only See What Is Really There. Reality...
The Make Believe World They All Live In Is In Reality FAKE.
People Are Blinded. They Lie To Them Selves Daily.

Accept Your Death. Accept Your Fate.

So It Goes....

To The Artist
Death Is Romantic
Form, Function
Birth, Life, Death
Present Always Decay
Callous Motions Of Police,

Wiping And Packaging Blade

As The Body Is
Loaded, A Shell,
Empty As It Seems

In Life.

ALONLEY.

We Can Walk The Path Together Or We Can Choose TO Walk It Alone.
But At The End Of Everything. We Shall Meet Again In The after world.
But Why Suffer Now, When We Can Enjoy each other.
Capture The Moment, Because It Won't Last Forever.

Who Gave You The Right
To Point At Me
In Idiot Graces
I Live In My Mind 303
Away From You
And Others Like You 847
I Am A Living Ghost 2948
Dead But Alive
In Slient Angush
My Rage And My Hate
For You And This World.

All Who Live Seen You.

Two Chosen Ones Crosses each others Path.
Each Mind So similar, So Alike.
Jaded Once They Were.
Minds So Clear Able To See Pass The Fog.
Able To See Pass All The Lies Of Reality.

Together They May Choose To Live and Prosper.
Or Together They May Choose To Die, And Be Buried Side By Side.
But At The End Of Everything They Will Be Together

By: Him And I

Eight Things

Here's a random survey

8 T.V shows I watch

1. Simpson
2. Sons of Anarchy
3. Sex in the City
4. Jon and Kate plus 8
5. Survivor Man
6. Man vs. Wild
7. Paris Hilton My New BFF (yes I know)
8 South Park

8 Favorite Restaurants

1. Texas Roadhouse
2. Rock Bottom
3. Haoway
4. Applebees
5. Red Lobster
6. Olive Garden
7. Turleys
8. Lucille's

8 Things That Happened Yesterday

1. It became November 1st
2. Time change
3. Bought a bunch of cat toys
4. Went to the Humane Society
5. Went to Turleys
6. Played Perfect World International
7. Looked for a job
8. Cleaned the house

8 Things I Am Looking Forward Too

1. Christmas
2. Finding a job
3. Seeing my brother
4. Another trip to Blackhawk
5. Thanksgiving
6. My birthday
7. Matts and I's anniversary
8. Spring

8 Things on my wish list

1. Buying a house
2. Starting a family
3. Getting married
4. Traveling to Ireland
5. Buying a new car
6. Financial security
7. A job
8. A dog

Wednesday, October 29th 2008

What is there really to say. I am unemployed, for false reason they ended my employment. It has been 2 weeks and 2 days with no paycheck, going to feel the pinch soon. Bills are due, rent is due... what will happen next.
I haven't heard a response from the letter nor do I plan to. It was all lies to keep things quite. They needed there job, who would blame them with the economy the way it is. I myself is having a hard time finding new work. Endless hours on the internet, browsing through the employment ads nothing, nothing at all. I walk up down the streets and nothing is available.


The Letter:

October 10th 2008


Dear___________,

I understand that it was the Companies best interest not to continue my employment with _________. I didn’t receive the letter until October 10^th, 2008. I was supposed to return to work on that day. I tried calling on the 9^th to see what time I was suppose to come in, but my call was never returned.

The last day of my paid leave was October 8^th, 2008. In the letter it states “We are providing this notice to you as soon as this decision was finalized, and prior to the end of your paid leave, so that you may be informed of this decision and have an opportunity to obtain replacement employment earlier that if not informed until the end of your paid leave.”

This is incorrect I wasn’t informed until the day after of my paid leave. So I haven’t had the opportunity to find another job.

Also, I understand that Colorado is an “at-will” state.

The letter says “While training a day shift QC person, an audit was performed on your work. In addition to prior performance concerns, the audit revealed addition substandard work resulting in the determination that it would not be in the best interest of the Company to continue the employment relationship.”

I was never informed of performance concerns while employed at __________. I have only had 1 review with _____ _______ as a TSR. I’ve never had disciplinary problems or attendance probation or any written warning.

During my employment as a Quality Control Personal I was only told good things from my superior, no one mentioned poor performance or substandard work. They only mentioned the opposite.

So, I am confused on why the company decided that was the reason to end my employment with __________. If I was told that my work was poor or substandard I would have improved, but all I heard was that I did an excellent job and that is why I trained other Quality Control Personal.

If you have the time I would appreciate if you could inform me on why I wasn’t informed of my prior performance concerns. Please feel free to e-mail me or write back.

Thank you,

Jena Duart

The response ..... Yeah nothing.

I really didn't expect to hear back, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to hear the real reason. My pet peeve.. Liars. I just want them to tell me the truth. I deserve that.
Time passes, the season are changing, the days will continues with or without me. But I am here and I am thankful for what I do have; a loving family, a wonderful man, and the one friend who has always been there for me. I am thankful for the memories of the past that has made me smile and laugh, it is sad to see a good friend go. But at the end it's probably for the best. They saved themselves to prosper and threw me in the pack of wolves to die.
I will stay strong during this time in my life. I will make the best of things and remind myself of what I do have. I will be thankful for each coming day. I will laugh, smile and love.

I will hope for the best and pray for those who have turned there backs on me.

Actually

I guess I never got fired by the mail because the postal service never delivered the letter. The company sent a carrier to deliver the letter, who slid it underneath my door. Who does that?

Also I'm not sure if I got fired or laid off. I've read the letter several times and read it to other people and we are confused on what exactly happened.

Denied

I just got home and received a letter from work.I just got FIRED from my job by mail. They couldn't even do it in person. They told me I would have a job, when I returned. Actually the exact words where, "The company has determined it is not in our best interest to continue your employment.
"

They avoided my phone calls until I received the letter. I can't believe I got fired by mail. Everyone told me that I did a great job and go figure Colorado is an "at will" state.


But they gave me a reason on why I was fired.

"While training a day shift QC person, an audit was performed on your work. In addition to prior performance concerns, the audit revealed additional, substandard work resulting in the determination that it would not be in the best interest of the Company to continue the employment relationship".


Well, every since I started the job I was told, I did a very good job QC. I never had any leads returned on my shift. I did an excellent job.


I just can't believe I was fired by mail, they couldn't bring me in the office and fire me to my face. So at least they can see the tears they started because I was lied too. I was told I would have a job after my two weeks. If I knew I would be fired I would of been looking for a job.


Unemployed.... and there's no point and trying to get unemployment for they would deny me of that.


I actually enjoyed that job too. oh well, I guess things can go worse.

Perfect World

So I started to play another online game to take my mind off of things and it seems to be working. It took several hours to download, but it was worth it. The game is called a Perfect World, it has 3 different races and 6 different classes, decent graphics, so far so good. I've just been questing through out the day. I'm playing a character that has a pet and looks like a cat. I forgot what it's called, don't really care at the moment a bit tired but keeping the mind busy.

I'm suppose to go back to work on the 10th, I have mixed feelings about that, not sure what to do, not even sure if I'll have a job when I get back.

BLAH, life....

Adiva and The Giraffe

Adiva eating her Yum Yums

Chomp, Chomp

Licking her mouth

Trying to escape the Giraffe Hat

A Long Road Ahead

Things are looking a bit better. The unwanted visitors have stopped; for now at least. We spent the last few days out of town, we needed a break from everything. I'm suppose to return to work on the tenth, a bit nervous about that. I just don't want to deal with the vicious rumors. Rumors that spread like the plaque.
I just wish everyone would mind there own business, but I guess that's what I get for working at a call center.
I know we have a long road ahead of us full of bumps and twists and turns, but I guess that's life for yeah.

Untitled

Will we ever smile again?

A lot has happened these last few days. The only thing that keeps us going, is our love for each other. I can't really say much about it due to legal matters. What a mess.....

It all started like the game we played as a child, "Telephone", that some how every thing sprung out of control; some lied, some things where taken out of context, and somethings just didn't happen.

I figure when everything is said and done. The one person who will know the truth and the only person that really matters is the one, who watches over us all.

The lord knows what took place and what happened and will watch over us and do us right at the end.

And if you don't believe in "God", most likely you believe in something, a higher power, or someone. If you don't believe in God you must still believe in right.

We still have our beliefs, our love for each other and that's something that no one can ever take away.

All we want to do at this time, is move forward and forgive those who did us wrong.

We will not hold a grudge for their faults.
We will forgive them.
We will pray for them.
We hope they will be able to move forward as well and find peace with the lord.

The Years...

Green River, Wyoming.... I don't even remember where my father is buried. That saddens me. It has been too long since I've visited him, at least 6 or 7 years. I vagely remember how to get to the cementary, let alone his grave. I am hoping when I get there I will remember... My father, oh how I miss him. He is stuck there in the dirt, all alone.

The years passes by, the memories are slowly fading. I have one picture of him. I am sure my mother has more, perhaps I shall stop by and grab some; put it in frame, on the mantel.

July 4th 1994 it has been 14 years. I remember he use to call in the mornings to wake me up for school. He would always call on time. I would get up, wake my mom and brother up and get ready for school; eat breakfast, shower and what not. I loved my father and still do. I ask myself why, many times. I have looked for answer through prayer, but at the end he is gone and I am here to wander the earth alone.

He is gone, and I am here to wander the earth alone.

Will I ever truly be healed? and be able to let go? move forward?

My father he is gone. I will cherish the 9 years I had with him and remember the moments we shared.

Bored At Work So Here's A Survey

Name something you have in common with all your siblings?
I have one older brother and one half sister. We share the same father.

Do you like to drink the juice out of freeze pops?
Not really

Who is the last person you wrote a letter to on paper?
My grandpartents

What was your first job?
A Telemarketing Company... Go Figure

What color is your favorite hoodie?
Pink

What's your typical ice cream order at Dairy Queen?
Raspberry Sundae

What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cabbage soup

Who gave you your last beer?
The refrigerator

Do you like Alice In Chains?
Ummm... I don't think so

Are you emotional?
At times

Have you ever had the same dream more than once?
Yes, I have

Do you use chap stick?
Burts Bee

If you were in an emergency situation and you had to deliver a baby, could you?Sure why not

What was the most recent thing you bought?
Food

What is on your refrigerator door?
Magnets

What was the last movie you watched?
Cold Comfort Farm

Does any of your friends have children?
Yep, a few and they are all beautiful children and wonderful parents.

Are you mad right now?
Nope

Can you dance?
Sure, I can....

What movie do you know every line to?
Can't think of one

Can you do the splits?
Maybe, like 5 years ago LOL

What are you wearing?
A cute tank top and dress pants.

What was the last thing you ate?
A Root Beer Barrel candy thing

When was the last time you slept on the floor?
I lay on the floor to stretch my back, but I can't remember when the last time I slept on the floor.

Would you chew gum that's already been chewed?
Ewwww, No!

Who have you talked to today?
A lot of people, I am at work.

What comes to your mind when I say pumpkins?
Halloween

What your phone backround?
Adiva

What color are your eyes?
Dark brown

What type of mood are you in right now?
Chillin at work, slightly bored

Have you ever gone out in public in the same clothes you've worn to bed?
Yes, I have

What could you go for right this second?
Food

What are your plans for the morning?
Get ready for work

Do you think Marilyn Monroe was really all that beautiful?
Yes, I do

Do you ever turn off your cellphone?
Sometimes

Where is your best friend at this exact moment?
Home probabaly

Do you have a ceiling fan located in your room?
Nope

What is the worst thing that has happened to you today?
Nothing

What sounds are you currently hearing?
People working

Do you have an older and wiser friend you go to for advice?
Yes

Have you questioned any people that are in your life lately?
Nope

Do you know how to change the oil in your car?
Don't own a car, but I do know how to do a oil change.

What was the last thing you received in the mail.
A Credit Card bill

Do you currently feel bad for any reason?
Yes... but I can't explain why, it's work related and confidential.

What will you be doing tomorrow at 3pm?
Working

What is something big and upcoming that you are excited for?
The Gun Show this weekend

Do you get frustrated quickly?
Somtimes

How many hours of sleep do you need to get to be okay to work?I
5hrs

Do you consider your mother a friend or just a parent?
We are slowly becoming best friends but growing up she was a parent to me.

Weather?

I should of watched or read the weather forcast for today.
I woke up around 12:30pm it was sunny and beautiful. It is now 6:45 and it looks like it's going to rain. Of course I had to wear a tank top which keeps flying above my head when I go outside. It's cold and windy... Got's to love Colorado weather.

Adiva

Adiva was born June 20th 2006. She is a Tabby/Maine Coon. She was a stray cat found in Cheyenne. We adopted her October 20th 2006. We don't plan on having children anytime soon. So she is a big part of our family. We love are baby girl.

This is my favorite picture of her

August 31st 2008

I don't really have a good picture of Adiva and I together....

She loves her Daddy though

Trying to get comfortable on the couch.

Almost there

My Sleeping Angel

So Cute!

She loves napping near the fire.

She loves her cat Jungle Gym, we bought it for her 1st birthday.

She loves sitting on the chair on the patio

Or just relaxing in the sun

She loves attacking those branches!

Chomp... Chomp...

She enjoys sitting in the bathroom sink.

Yes, I take her for walks. (She's unhappy in this one. It's one of her first pictures, she wasn't used to the flash)

I am thankful to have her apart of our lives.

May 5th 2008 Sand Dunes Adventure

Great Sand Dunes National Park! This was one of the best camping trips I ever went on. It was just gorgeous.

Here's some random pictures of the Dunes

The dry river bed was just amazing. We walked all over the place.

I just loved the contrast of the mountains

Beautiful Mountains, How could you not love it here?

This would be the first time Matt and I went camping together. The camp site we had was awesome. It was our friends birthday, we all had a wonderful time; playing beer pong, sitting by the campfire, walking through the dunes, just spending time with wonderful people.

Here we are getting ready to walk on the sand

Had to first walk across the dry river bed!

Then through the sand!

Me walking through the sand!

Taking a break!

Just the two of us!