Time

This month has been filled with death; death of those whom never had the chance to live, and those pets that were old, and those that just was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I cried earlier this morning..... I found out that my first cat I ever loved and owned passed away. Her name was Shiva. She would be 6yrs old. She lived a wonderful life though. She was full of joy and happiness. She was a wonderful kitty and made me smile and laugh. I loved her dearly. I must admit I haven't thought much about her as the days went. Yes, she would pop in my head and I would smile and hope she was doing well.
Frankly, I've tried to put the pass behind me for it brought back bad memories, mistakes that I made. People I hurt and lied too and I feel ashamed for doing those things. Of course, there where good moments; moments and times that made me who I am today. I've learned from my mistakes and do not plan on doing them again.
I can only move forward and make the best of things and do my best to live a clean, honest life.
Shiva was attacked by a coyote and that was the end of it. I only wish I was able to take her with me, but at the time I couldn't provide her with a home. I could barely provide a home for myself and take care of myself.
May she rest in peace, along with the rest of the souls that where lost this month.

The Fat Leg

Since I lost my employment, I've been spending a decent time on the computer looking for a job and playing Perfect World International. Which has caused me to gain weight.
I went to lunch with a friend on Monday and I wanted to wear my knee high boots, which I haven't worn since I lost my job.
Well.... apparently my left calf is bigger then my right. This must of happened in the last month. At first I we thought it was because I pulled a muscle but it didn't hurt and after a few days it is still bigger. I do not drive either. So we came to decide that one leg is just fatter then the other, because I must some how favor my right leg or the left.
We have come up with numerous ideas to even out the legs; carry my purse on my left shoulder, do leg exercises, some other interesting ones that I can't think of at this time.
It is frustrating because now I'm noticing other parts of my body that is getting fatter due to lack of exercising.
So while unemployed and looking for a job I now going to start to exercise so I don't become a fat beast.

Written July 5th 2006

This is the first poem we wrote together.

As Spring Creeps Into The Hills (07/05/2006)

Familiar Ghost
Meld
In Languid Shadow
Stolen Smiles
Lost Love
And The Phantom
Of The American Dream
White Picket Fence
White Croses
Marking The Graves
Of The Sensitive

The Shadowy Night
Creeps Upon Us All
The True Chosen Ones Only See What Is Really There. Reality...
The Make Believe World They All Live In Is In Reality FAKE.
People Are Blinded. They Lie To Them Selves Daily.

Accept Your Death. Accept Your Fate.

So It Goes....

To The Artist
Death Is Romantic
Form, Function
Birth, Life, Death
Present Always Decay
Callous Motions Of Police,

Wiping And Packaging Blade

As The Body Is
Loaded, A Shell,
Empty As It Seems

In Life.

ALONLEY.

We Can Walk The Path Together Or We Can Choose TO Walk It Alone.
But At The End Of Everything. We Shall Meet Again In The after world.
But Why Suffer Now, When We Can Enjoy each other.
Capture The Moment, Because It Won't Last Forever.

Who Gave You The Right
To Point At Me
In Idiot Graces
I Live In My Mind 303
Away From You
And Others Like You 847
I Am A Living Ghost 2948
Dead But Alive
In Slient Angush
My Rage And My Hate
For You And This World.

All Who Live Seen You.

Two Chosen Ones Crosses each others Path.
Each Mind So similar, So Alike.
Jaded Once They Were.
Minds So Clear Able To See Pass The Fog.
Able To See Pass All The Lies Of Reality.

Together They May Choose To Live and Prosper.
Or Together They May Choose To Die, And Be Buried Side By Side.
But At The End Of Everything They Will Be Together

By: Him And I

Eight Things

Here's a random survey

8 T.V shows I watch

1. Simpson
2. Sons of Anarchy
3. Sex in the City
4. Jon and Kate plus 8
5. Survivor Man
6. Man vs. Wild
7. Paris Hilton My New BFF (yes I know)
8 South Park

8 Favorite Restaurants

1. Texas Roadhouse
2. Rock Bottom
3. Haoway
4. Applebees
5. Red Lobster
6. Olive Garden
7. Turleys
8. Lucille's

8 Things That Happened Yesterday

1. It became November 1st
2. Time change
3. Bought a bunch of cat toys
4. Went to the Humane Society
5. Went to Turleys
6. Played Perfect World International
7. Looked for a job
8. Cleaned the house

8 Things I Am Looking Forward Too

1. Christmas
2. Finding a job
3. Seeing my brother
4. Another trip to Blackhawk
5. Thanksgiving
6. My birthday
7. Matts and I's anniversary
8. Spring

8 Things on my wish list

1. Buying a house
2. Starting a family
3. Getting married
4. Traveling to Ireland
5. Buying a new car
6. Financial security
7. A job
8. A dog