Hrmmmm

I may be sad or depressed but somehow I can still smile and be thankful for what I do have. The loves in my life and the life that I've created for myself. I am sad, but still happy at the same time, how is that possible? The non smoking is going great for me. I may have my urges to smoke, but my will power to quit is much stronger. Sadly I can't say the same thing for him. He's had a few deadly cancer sticks and it saddens me that he doesn't want to better himself for the future; health wise that is. It will kill him at the end. I am sad because I feel as though I've pressured him in doing something that he didn't want to. I am sad that a "friend" that knew that he was trying to quit gave him one. I am sad because he took it.
When I was smoker, if I knew that someone was trying to quit I was a good enough friend and knew what they where doing was the best, healthiest way to go and never once did I give them a cigarette. I only encourage them to quit and tried not to smoke when they where near.
It saddens me, because I feel he can't talk to me, but goes to her.

But yet I am able to bring a smile to my face and at the core of everything I am happy right now in my life.