Tears of a Father

There are moments some tougher then others, where I miss my father more then ever. I can close my eyes and picture him; his scent, his laugh, his smile, everything. I miss him so much. I miss him more today then most days. These days don't come often but when they do. I find myself in a puddle of my own tears. What can I say, I miss my father. I wish he was here. I wish he was alive.
July 4th will soon come and this year I won't be home. It will be hard, but I will cope with my emotions. I don't think people understand unless they have lost a parent or someone close to them. I tell them when they lose a parent they will know how I feel every time July 4th comes by. I try to tell myself that I've fully healed but I know that's bullshit. I will never be healed. I will never be able to let go of him. I miss him so much and its so hard not being able to tell anyone who would understand. Even the happy moments with my father makes me sad and cry because I just miss him so much. I wish I could talk to him. I wish for so much.
I know the time will come and my mother will pass and that tares me up inside. Eventually everything that I love and hold dear to me will pass. At the end it will be me and only me.